Metamorphosis.

I am reading a book titled, The Music Room.

It describes the life of a student of Indian classical music, not too different from the life of students of any Indian classical arts.

The Indian classical art teacher, or guru, does not teach through instruction or books. The teacher teaches by understanding the disciple, and bulding an emotional and mental conduit between them through which knowledge and skills will soon transfer.

The disciple lives with the teacher and serves the teacher with devotion, performing with the teacher in order to gain a sense of the art under the teacher's eye. When the student is independent enough to develop his or her own understanding of the art, the teacher sets up performances for the student, increasing his or her self-confidence and abilities as an independent artist.

Art in classical India was a true talent, a true collection of skills that could not be simply acquired through observation or practice. These talents can only shine when the student learns to harness his potential in such a way that complements his talents and his art. It seems that the student must work diligently to discover some sort of inner purpose in his own art in order for his training to be successful in transforming his talents into magnificent power. When these skills and talents, this knowledge and power, is used for the student's attempt to discover only himself and his role in the cosmos, then the student has achieved the single-pointed focus, the directed consciousness that will serve him to travel a sort of journey atop the clouds, away from all problems of the world, yet amongst them. The student can truly understand his art's role in the world, in serving all people a few moments on those clouds, away from the problems of the world with him. That is when the student completes his metamorphosis into an artist.

I remember my own desires to become a classical Indian dancer. I don't know why I can never stop thinking about it... I always felt that the one time I could sense myself and feel completely independent ("free"), is while I am dancing. I enjoy entertaining the idea that I was on my way to becoming a true artist.. I tried writing about it every chance I could get.. I have a 30-page paper sitting on my harddrive, focused solely upon the relationship between me & dance throughout my entire life.

Sometimes I worry that I'm kind of obsessed..